How to Use Up a Sack of Potatoes Before They Start Growing and Gain Squatters Rights

 A sack of potatoes always seems like a good purchase until you forget about half the bag and find your taters growing so big and strong that you wonder if they’ll gain sentience next. Then you realize that they’re molding which puts them in more of a zombie-like state, so sentience is probably out of the question… Anyway, here are my top three favorite potato recipes, followed by three unconventional uses for potatoes outside of the kitchen.

For each ingredient list, I’ll only include the most necessary items so you can know whether you have the ingredients on hand with a glance. I list russet potatoes specifically as those are what I have on hand, but don’t worry--you can use red, Yukon gold, or whatever else threatens to sprout in your pantry. At the end of each recipe, I’ll offer additional ingredients that aren’t necessary, but are tasty additions if you happen to have them!

Recipe #1: Cream Cheese Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients: about 5 russet potatoes (of course), 8 ounces of cream cheese, 2-4 tablespoons of butter, salt, water

Directions: Wash and quarter your potatoes. (You can peel them before cutting them if you’d like, though I don’t really notice the potato skin once everything is mashed well.) Put the potatoes into a pot of salted water, bring it to a boil, and then reduce the heat to low so the potatoes can simmer until soft (usually about 20 minutes).

Once soft, drain the majority of the water from the potatoes. As this recipe doesn’t call for milk, reserving a couple of tablespoons of water can be helpful. This is something that I eyeball as I’m draining the potatoes rather than using precise measurements.

With the potatoes still hot, add in your block of cream cheese, and 2 to 4 tablespoons of butter (I like mine more buttery and opt for 4). Get to work mashing those bad boys. A hand blender can make your life easier here, but I use a plain old fork. Keep mixing and mashing until the potatoes are as creamy as you’d like them, and add salt to taste. Then you’re done! This should yield at least 4 servings.

This simple, tasty recipe was born from the necessity to use up not only a sack of Costco potatoes, but some soon-to-expire bulk cream cheese as well. It’s a perfectly good side dish on its own, but don’t be afraid to throw in some extra toppings if you have them! When I can, I add pepper, garlic powder, parsley, cheese, and/or bacon bits.

Recipe #2: Breakfast Potatoes

Ingredients: 2-3 russet potatoes, 2 tablespoons of oil or butter, salt, pepper

Directions: Wash and dice your potatoes into ½ inch bites. (Peeling them is optional for this recipe as well, but I never do.)

Put your oil or butter into a skillet, put it on medium-high heat, then add your potatoes. You’ll want to choose a large enough pan that your diced potatoes can lie in one even layer on the bottom.

Add in your salt and pepper, and mix your potatoes around every few minutes for consistent browning. This should take around 10 minutes. When the potatoes are sufficiently browned, they’re ready to be served as an easy breakfast side dish!

This dish can be easily enhanced with additional seasonings (which you would add at the same time as the salt and pepper). Generally, I like to add garlic powder, thyme, rosemary, and a bit of ground red pepper.

To make this dish better suited for dinner, it can easily become potatoes o’brien if you have a bell pepper and onion on hand. For this version, remove the seeds and stem from a bell pepper and cut it down to similarly sized pieces as your potatoes. Cut your onion down to this size as well.

The potatoes will take the longest to cook, so add your diced pepper and onion when your potatoes begin to darken so that they all finish at the same time--otherwise, you may end up with overcooked veggies or undercooked potatoes.

Wherever your dish lands on the breakfast potatoes to potatoes o’brien spectrum, I hope you find it satisfying to your taste buds. If not, it has to at least be satisfying to use up a few more taters from your seemingly endless supply, right?

Recipe #3: Loaded Baked Potato Skins

Ingredients: 3-6 russet potatoes (or whatever amount you would like), oil, salt, melted butter, and your choice of loaded toppings (these options will be expanded on later in the recipe)

Directions: Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Wash and dry your potatoes, then rub them with oil and salt. You can put the potatoes on a baking sheet or directly into the oven, but it is still advised to place a baking sheet on the rack below the potatoes if you opt to place them directly in so that any oil that drips from them is caught. Bake until tender, usually 40 to 60 minutes.

Once your potatoes are baked, pull them out and let them cool. When you’re able to handle them, cut the potatoes in half lengthwise. (You could stop here and just have some baked potatoes, but in my opinion, baked potato skins are a definite step up.) Scoop out the majority of the insides, leaving just the skins and a thin layer of the soft potato within.

From here, you’ll want to brush both sides of your halved potato skins with melted butter. Place the potatoes cut-side down onto the baking sheet and back into the oven to crisp up even more. Usually, I end up putting them in for 8-10 minutes for this round.

When they are looking crispier, remove them again and flip them over on the baking sheet so that they are cut-side up. This is where your choice of loaded toppings comes into play. You can’t go wrong with cheese and bacon, but you can explore other tasty toppings like chili and chives as well. This is the time to fill your potato skins with any toppings that will benefit from melting or warming up (like cheese), but leave off cold ingredients (like sour cream) here.

With your potato skins loaded up, put them back into the oven for one final round. Keep an eye on them as it should only take a few minutes for your cheese, for example, to melt. When they are removed from the oven, you can now add any cold ingredients you previously left off, and you’re ready to serve them!

Usually, I save the scooped out potato innards for mashed potatoes, but recently I heard about fried mashed potato balls, which sound twice as delicious and a million times more interesting. I haven’t yet tried to make them myself, but this recipe from Delish is nearly rated five stars for anyone who wants to beat me to the punch.

And if you’re too sick of potatoes to eat another one, here are three interesting alternative uses for those leftover spuds…

Use #1: Sacrifice a Potato, Save a Soup

If you’re making a soup and realize you’ve badly oversalted it, a potato can save the day! Just peel a potato and toss it into your soup, letting it cook for about 20 minutes. During this time, the potato will soak up much of the salt. Then you can pull it out! For the price of one potato that may have otherwise gone bad, your soup or stew is saved from a salty grave.

Use #2: Potato Spa Day

Have you ever relaxed with some cool slices of cucumber over your eyes? Why not try a slightly less luxurious version of that with some cool potato slices?

It sounds silly, but thanks to the starch and vitamins found in potatoes, they are said to help lessen under eye swelling, reduce dark circles, and soothe other mild irritations like sunburns. Just slice up a raw potato, allow the slices some time to cool in the fridge, and use them as you would a slice of cucumber. (For sunburns specifically, peeling and shredding the potatoes to apply to the area works as well.)

While I’m sure you could find more helpful remedies for these issues, this might be a fun alternative if you’re bored. Besides, you already have the potatoes. Why not try it?

Use #3: Get Crafty with Some Spud Stamps

Another fun way to use up any remaining taters is to use them artistically! For this craft, you will also need paper and paint. A pen or marker will also be helpful. You can turn each half of a potato into a unique stamp, yielding two per potato, or you can cut them down into smaller shapes to get more little stamps out of one potato. I’ll be sharing the first method below.

First, cut a potato in half crosswise. It’s a good idea to mark the desired shape of your stamp on the potato with your pen or marker; that way you can use it as a guide as you proceed to cut around your design to carve it out. You should be left with your raised design, which you can then apply a bit of paint to and get to stamping!

This brings us to the end of today’s potato journey. Whether you cook them or find a more unique use for your taters, I hope you’re able to get through them. As for me, it’s time to stop writing about taters and take my own advice. I’ll be making some breakfast potatoes today! What about you?